They say silence is golden.

OK so I failed epicily and fucked up my life good and proper which can in some circles may be something that deserves congratulations. Then again maybe not.

So I did expect some form of a beating you know a nice bit of ego shrinking verbal abuse about your so shit and I'm so very disappointed but not this. My parents now hate each other because their ideas on how to treat my failure differ greatly. So the whole entire house is silent. I'm quiet naturally because I've just failed and deserve a little time to wallow in my own self pity because no other fucker is gonna give me any are they? Deanna doesn't know which way shes fucking swinging half the time so shes just sticking to shutting up and sitting in the corner. Its not like I'm even old enough to go out and get pissed to drown my sorrows which is really fucking annoying because what else am I meant to do.

This however differs entirely to three women who aren't even my parents or family members.
One is my sisters friends mum who was so lovely about the subject because she knows how it feels to fail at this type of shit. She told me to 'stay strong because it will sort itself out in time' which is a nice thing to say to a girl who is about to have a mental breakdown and go on a rampage.
The second one is my second mum. She always talks sense when no-one else in this world really does. She said it doesn't really matter you can always find another way like ''my Mandy did''.
Then came the text from my husband. She is just amazing. She was like never give up which I think is pretty good advice to anyone at any time.


So the house is full but silent which is making feel so bad about myself because I was the one who failed and so this is all my fault and no one wants to talk to me about anything that might cheer me up because they all want to blame me for everything all I want to say back is why don't you try blaming me for global warming or the economy crashing or fucking 9/11 while you're at then but i cant because the I'd be even more alone in my failure. Maybe I should just give up any dreams I actually had because since when did they get you anywhere in live. All that gets you anywhere is money and power which I don't have because I'm classed as part of the poor and dumb section of society which never has any power anyways. And the only way you can get all these is if your parents actually care enough about you I mean today Ive had more comfort and help from a semi-stranger and a woman whose not even my mum and Ive also had my grades laughed at by one of my so called friends so its nice to know that I am fucking loved.

That will be all.
Much Love
A Failure
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